Saturday, July 4, 2009

Last Weekend of Lasts

I tend to think of things in really weird ways when it comes to dates and big, life-changing events. For instance, I had a bottle of saline solution in the headboard of my high school bed for four years. I opened the bottle (and used all of it) during my freshman year, but the expiration date was in the month and year of my graduation. I remember thinking that there was no way that date would ever arrive! Sure enough, though, the bottle expired and I did, in fact, graduate from high school. This weekend has been filled with 'lasts' and next week will be filled with 'firsts.' It is really crazy how life changes. I think Jakob senses a little bit that things really are going to be quite different, also. We were both exceptionally clingy to one another today. Nothing got done on my list, but I had a great day with my sweet boy...our last day of just the two of us. My parents and brother will be here tomorrow and Jared is off from the dealership for a week! I'm so excited and ready for all of the help that is here and coming, but I must admit that I have loved these weeks of just Jakob and me more than I can say. After Jakob was born, I had a really hard time (for longer than I care to admit!) being totally okay with everyone being around...holding, cooing, doting, etc. It had just been the two of us for 39 weeks, and I liked it that way! Who knows if I'll have the same feelings with Lily, but one thing is for certain...I have treasured my summer of just Jakob and me. (Just during the days...I don't want to make it sound like Jared isn't here! :-) Trust me, not only is Jared here, but his love for me this summer is an entire blog unto itself!) So, yes, today was spent with somewhat sad thoughts: our last lunch just to two of us, our last nap time together just the two of us, our last game of rolly-ball just the two of us, our last time making muffins just the two of us, our last...you get it. While I am so tremendously excited beyond words for Lily to be here on Tuesday, I have been overwhelmed today with just Jakob. His humor, his heart, his voice, his face...my baby boy. I am so proud to be his mommy and so excited to see him as Lily's big brother...a whole new 'first!'

Our last family of 3 (and a half!) picture! Happy 4th of July!

2 comments:

Ashley said...

A. You and I are more alike than I thought. Scary for you...
B. I think of things (events) the same exact way, in "lasts"... I think I even remember doing the same thing with a bottle of saline for my contacts when I was in high school!! ...weird.
C. I cried because I did the SAME thing with Anna right before Grey...and almost felt sorry for her and apologized so many times (in my head) to her for what was about to happen to her world. Not that Grey was a bad thing AT ALL... but you know what I mean...

Anonymous said...

I sit here with tears in my eyes thinking of all the last with you and Brandon. They are soooo bittersweet. You are a great mother and I am so proud of you. Jakob will remember this special summer with you. See you in a little whilw.Mom